We find a solace in the dark
by wiisarah
Summary: Hidden in the dark there is much to fear but in the cold light of day there is much, much more. Alex Spenser must come to terms with her life as a secret romantic and the events in it, whilst Bruce Wayne must come to terms with Alex Spenser.
1. Be good and courageous and bold

Chapter One – _"Be good and courageous and bold…"_

_"Live each day as if it's your last', that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn't practical. Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you."_ David Nicholls - One Day.

Alex Spenser didn't question running straight into the line of fire, not for a single moment. The man she chased had committed murder and it didn't sit well with her to stand by and let him get away simply because he 'might' be armed. So she tore off after him. Everyone she worked with knew that she had some sort of a death wish. At first her colleagues had thought that she was out to impress, but the situations that she continually found herself in quickly changed their minds. Every time she left the office, Lieutenant Greeves would yell something to the effect of "No heroics!" but she knew that heroics were what it took to catch a criminal in this city. She wasn't changing the world or protecting the President of The United States of America, but surely someone's life prospects would improve if this man were incarcerated. She understood that what she was doing was right, even if her methods were a little dangerous. Five years on the New York Police Department's Murder Investigation Team had taught her rather a lot about intuition, and she often followed hers whether she felt it wrong or right.

She smiled to herself as she caught sight of him trying to find a path through the rush hour traffic to the other side. She picked up speed and swiftly slammed into the back of him, knocking him to the ground. He struggled a little, trying to roll over and knock her off his back in the process but she had him pinned down too tightly. She was reading him his rights just as a squad car came flying around the corner.

Sitting in a stifling interview room five hours later, Alex felt slightly apprehensive. She'd risked quite a few lives out on the street earlier. Her assailant had been armed, and if she hadn't pinned him down like she had, she was now very sure he'd have shot her at point blank range. He wasn't showing any signs that he wanted to co-operate, and she wasn't in the mood to try to prise information out of him. She sat silently and observed as lieutenant Greeves lead the interrogation. She wasn't sure she even wanted to be in the room with the man sat in front of her. Three young girls had been brutally raped and murdered over the course of the last seven months. She'd only been here for two of those months. She'd moved back to Gotham from New York to take up the position of Sergeant in the police department and she'd immediately been deployed to this case. She knew why. She'd been involved in many homicide cases in New York, and somehow the powers that be had thought she'd be able to aid the investigation. In fact, someone else had worked it all out; someone older with much more experience who'd lived in the city all of their lives. She felt that she was taking the credit of someone else's hard work. Yes, she'd caught him but that was just about the height of her input to this case. He had tried to plead insanity as soon as he'd realised that the evidence was circumstantial but Greeves had a degree in psychology, and he'd spent the last three hours developing a very good case against the man. Alex simply sat back and let him get on with it. She was already in enough trouble without saying the wrong thing. She still hadn't quite got to grips with how things were done here in Gotham despite her two month stay.

Later on that evening when she returned to her new apartment, she felt glad that they'd managed a result. The man had been charged, but she knew in a few weeks she wouldn't remember his name. She would attend the trial and hope that the judge and jury came to the right conclusion. But she wouldn't dwell on the discreet matters of the case because for some reason this case had unnerved her. She'd been working for Gotham City Police Department for just three weeks when the third body had been found. She had seen countless homicide cases before, but somehow she was frightened by what this case meant. Seven years ago she had left this city with her parents to live in New York and she had managed to carve a successful career. But what would have happened to her if she'd stayed in Gotham? Would she be a serving police officer? Or would she be doing something completely different with her life? If she had stayed, then she might have been one of those girls. At the age of twenty three she was the same age as two of the girls who'd been murdered. It wasn't so much that she might now be lying on a mortuary slab that frightened Alex, it was the fact that she might have become a completely different person.

Things could have been so different. Perhaps if they hadn't moved to New York her parents wouldn't have separated and she wouldn't have lost touch with both of them. Perhaps she'd have been able to pursue a career in writing, which she had dreamed of doing from an early age; and perhaps she would have managed to win the affections of the man that she had thought she loved all those years ago. Now though, she knew it was just a teenage crush. Heavens, there was no chance of her ever winning his affections now. She'd dreamed of becoming an award winning author who would attend all of the society's most glamorous galas and balls and that she would eventually be snapped up by the boy who had only ever been her friend. But now he was one of the richest men in America, and he owned half of Gotham. But Bruce Wayne was now completely unattainable. As a teenager she'd dreamt that one day he would turn to the girl beside him and realise that everything that he would ever need was staring him in the face, but she'd left with her family and she had never looked back. She had known that it was the only way to forget. And forget she had. She didn't think she'd ever be back here but ever since her parents divorced she'd felt an almighty pull towards the city that she'd loved as a child but in the seven years that she'd been away she hadn't thought about Bruce Wayne. Her mind had turned to college boys and careers.

Then suddenly she'd found herself buying a new apartment in her childhood home and starting a new job. She had been offered the same position in New York, and she'd been tempted to take it, but her cousin had called from Gotham and told her that the same position was open there. She'd jumped at the chance to have a valid reason for leaving New York. She adored New York, but ever since she'd lost contact with her parents things hadn't been the same. She was forever terrified of bumping into them in the street or on the subway and she didn't think she was emotionally ready to handle another argument. Another thing she had discovered that she wasn't emotionally ready for was a relationship. She'd had two short term relationships in New York. Both had taught her a lot about what she needed in her life from any potential relationship, and also what she didn't need. The first guy had been a complete idiot, and she'd fallen for his charm. He was really only looking for a bit of fun but he had felt the need to lie to her to get it, and Alex had never forgiven herself for being so weak minded that she had believed him. Her parents had just divorced and he'd played on the fact that she felt insecure and unhappy. He'd taught her to believe nothing that a man ever said to her. In the end she had heard rumours that he had cheated and she had decided that there was no point torturing herself. She simply didn't trust him so she called it a day. The second guy, he was nice. That was all that there was to say about him. He was a decent guy and because of that she felt that she had to at least give him a chance but there was just something missing. They had nothing in common and he was just a little too nice. He didn't have a dark side; a part of his life that wasn't perfectly normal. He didn't have hidden secrets that upset him or baggage that he hadn't offloaded yet. Alex was sure he was ideal for someone else, but just not her. She felt inadequate next to him because she had so many issues inside her head that she needed to work through and he was clearly not the one to help her. So she had ended it quickly so that she wouldn't hurt his feelings.

And here she was, at twenty three with no close friends nearby and virtually non-existent family ties. It dis-heartened Alex a bit, when she really thought about her situation. She understood that if someone had really truly cared for her then they would have made an attempt to be a part of her life. But now she felt that she had the chance to start again. She was now living in uptown Gotham, just a few blocks away from her cousin Jenny. Jenny had been the one constant support in Alex's life. At twenty five, Jenny should realistically have taken on the role of older cousin and tried to set the example but Alex had found herself taking up that position. She'd been the one who Jenny would call in the middle of the night when her boyfriend had walked out, and she also found herself wiring money to Gotham Central Bank when things got tough for her cousin. Jenny also had issues with her parents that were as yet unresolved but she had a more consistent relationship with them than Alex did with her parents. As a result of this, the two cousins had been constant absent companions. They had emailed almost every day for the last seven years and although this afforded Alex some sort of familial comfort, she still felt somehow disconnected. She hadn't actually spoken to Jenny on the phone in three years, and although the emails were regular, they became disjointed. Both women had their own jobs and their own lives to lead and it was an unspoken agreement that the communication was more out of courtesy than anything else. But now, with her friends back in New York, Alex held onto the hope that she and Jenny could somehow rekindle the friendship that had kept them both sane ten years ago.

Seeing her cousin again was one of the strangest occurrences she'd ever had. Jenny had thrown herself into Alex's arms. They'd both sobbed for a good fifteen minutes on the sidewalk before being pushed roughly to the side as Gotham rush hour kicked in. Talking about old times had been slightly painful for Alex, but she didn't tell Jenny that. She sat politely and listened to all of her cousin's news and when it was her turn to share the news she simply shrugged, finding that the things that had occurred in her life over the last seven years were not really that important to someone like her cousin. Jenny worked in television. She'd started out as the coffee fetcher, but now she'd worked her way up into the position of producer thanks to her boyfriend of five years who just so happened to own the television company.

The sentiment scared Alex a little. Jenny had got where she was now by batting her eyelashes and wearing a very tight pencil skirt, whereas she'd grafted to get to where she was today, not that it was a position to write home about. She knew she'd have to go a long way before she was earning anything near what Jenny was now earning. She had thought her cousin would have had a bit more sense about her. She'd tried as a teenager to stimulate the older girl's morals a little and she had tried to encourage her to branch out and think about a career that she could sustain for a lifetime. But Jenny now worked in an industry where beauty was key. Her cousin was bottle blonde with legs that went on forever, and she looked like she used every facial cream on the planet. Her skin had a healthy glow and she looked like she wasn't a day over twenty one. Alex knew however, that Jenny had perhaps ten, or fifteen years left in the industry before someone younger and prettier, if the latter were possible, under cut her. She'd be shafted to the back offices where the buzz of live television would be constrained to a monitor and she'd have to make her own coffee. It would lose its appeal and within a few years she'd be a housewife desperately trying to have the children that she should have focused on conceiving earlier on in life instead of her career. She felt sorry for Jenny. But she felt angry at herself. Jenny would live to see her ninety's. Alex would not. She cursed herself for the risks she took whilst on duty, but she couldn't help it. It was the thrill of the chase. Alex knew just how much danger she put herself in every day, but somehow it didn't matter to her anymore. If she'd been a shrinking violet she wouldn't have joined the police department in the first place, but over the course of the last five years on the job her hardened exterior had diffused into her head. When it came to catching criminals; Alex was of one mind. If she didn't catch them, they would go back out into the world the next day to target their next victim, and if another person were to be hurt it would be her fault because she had been too frightened to give chase. At the beginning of her career she had been more mindful of the fact that she could also potentially be putting the lives of her colleagues or the public in danger as well as herself, but that had slowly given way to adrenaline.

For Alex, life in Gotham slowly developed its own routine. At work she was known as the girl without a conscience and a Friday night would find her secluded in a booth at Layton's Cocktail Bar with Jenny. At first she had spent a lot more time with Jenny, but slowly she had begun to realise that it was bad for her already unhealthy mind-set. When she was with Jenny, Alex felt like the fat friend. Jenny was beautiful; the kind that would be any man's type and so Alex was virtually invisible when they went to bars or clubs. She didn't feel any animosity towards Jenny because she knew that the attention was unwanted and she was grateful to her cousin, for introducing her to a lot of her friends whom she soon began to think of as friends too. Most of them were male, and Jenny had perhaps wanted Alex to see more potential in them than just friendship but she found that life was a lot easier when you weren't worried about what a guy really thought of you. Alex had been the girl who never gave up for seven years. Although she had everyone convinced she was happily single she'd spent every night out wondering if that night in question would be the night that she'd meet someone and it had become an unhealthy obsession. This was another side of her unhealthy mind-set. Gotham was in so many ways a new start. Flushing that unhealthy mind-set down the toilet; or at least some of it had been the plan and the first aspect to go had been the constant search for Mr Right. She was now sure that she could live a reasonably happy life with the things she had come to care about most; her job, her books and her new friends.

She saw him in a newspaper or magazine every day. He was on television almost as often. When she'd known him as a teenager he'd been a completely different person. He had always been Bruce Wayne with his mansion and his money but as a young man he'd had a different view on life. Back then she had seen him as someone who would be settled down, married and be having children before his mid-twenties. She thought that this view she had of him might be because his family had been ripped from him as a boy and she understood that family was something that he craved. But now he seemed to have distanced himself from that boy. Alex knew it was down to the impact that money had created in his life. Because of the money that he inherited from his parents he seemed to have become immune to those feelings that she knew he had experienced as a teen. Now he held the main frame of his father's huge industry and although he was required to attend meetings and oversee the general running of Wayne Enterprises she knew that he really did very little at all. His party lifestyle had overtaken and everyone knew that he fell asleep in meetings daily and often took interrupting calls from many of the women that were frequently a part of his party lifestyle. In the two months that she had been back in Gotham she had counted seven different women in total; and that was almost one every fortnight. There was no doubt about it, Bruce Wayne had changed. But whilst the whole city seemed to have interpreted the billionaire as a playboy with an empire at his feet who had every right to delegate the running of his company to well payed assistants because he simply hadn't the interest, inclination or intelligence to do so himself, Alex knew different. It shocked her that a man so devoted to the memory of his parents would deliberately shun the running of the empire that his father had built in the hopes that his son would revel in taking control of it. She knew that Wayne Enterprises had been efficiently run by Lucius Fox and other members of the board whilst Bruce was young, but she had thought he would have wanted to take control and put his own stamp on his company. She knew Bruce was intelligent and that he truly did respect his parents memory, so she was confused as to why there were so many stories of his negligence circulating in the press. The playboy attitude she felt she could understand. What young billionaire wouldn't enjoy actresses and models throwing themselves at him from every direction? She therefore decided that she would believe that everything she heard and read about him had been blown out of proportion and that somewhere, he was still the Bruce she had known and loved. Despite all of that, she didn't dwell upon her old friend too much. She wouldn't allow herself to. It wasn't likely that she would ever meet him again, and she doubted he'd remember her even if she did.


	2. Weighed, measured and priced

Chapter two – Weighed, measured, and priced.

_"I am the only child of parents who weighed, measured, and priced everything; for whom what could not be weighed, measured, and priced, had no existence." _

Charles Dickens - Little Dorrit

Case closed. Alex had finally managed to complete the large pile of paperwork that had been slowly accumulating on her desk since her first day. It had taken her almost a week to go through each statement and evidence record with a fine toothcomb, but she now had completed all of her own case notes. She checked the clock on the wall and smiled. Fifteen minutes until the end of her shift. Screw it! She grabbed her bag and coat from the back of her chair and left the office early, depositing the now completed files in an open drawer of a filing cabinet as she went. She'd been staring at the statements made during the rape and murder case that had been her first in Gotham all day and she was tired. She pushed open the door and she was immediately engulfed in a steady stream of office workers and their brief cases. She headed towards the sub-way, but turned off into a small side street and entered a bookshop that she knew hardly anyone knew about. Ten minutes later she stepped back onto the street clutching a paper bag. If she'd just left her favourite book shop in New York she'd have slipped her bag off her arm and placed her new book inside it; but this was Gotham. Instead she kept her bag tucked tightly under her arm and held her new book in its paper bag against her chest. She needed something to take her mind off the impending murder trial tomorrow, and more paper work just wouldn't suffice. She walked briskly to the subway station, and not even when she was inside the subway car did she loosen her grip on her bag. When she got off at her stop she breathed a little easier, but not completely. She lived in uptown Gotham, which wasn't very far from the central business district but the difference in safety in both areas was staggering. Central Gotham was a hot bed of criminal behaviour, mostly due to the close proximity to The Narrows which lay just across the river. But Alex still didn't feel entirely safe. She understood more than anyone that even the most affluent of areas could be dangerous. Uptown Gotham played host to a different breed of criminal, most of whom were that bit more dangerous because they had some sort of social standing and needed to hide their identity at all costs. They had more to lose if they were exposed as a criminal, whereas the people living in The Narrows had been forced into crime because they had already had nothing left.

Alex was slowly coming to terms with her move from New York. She had now finally got around to decorating her apartment; if you could call it decorating. She'd painted the sitting room and bought paintings and ornaments, but the rest of the apartment was virtually as she'd found it except for the growing number of shelves in her bedroom. Nearly all of the books that she owned had gone into storage for the first few weeks so that she could sort all of her other belongings, but two weeks ago they'd arrived in the form of six huge cardboard boxes. She'd hurried to put up as many shelves as she could before she tripped over one of the boxes and ended up in a plaster cast. There were still two boxes full of books that she had yet to find a place for, but tonight they were ignored as she sat in bed, propped up against her pillows with her new book in hand. She supposed it was ironic. She was reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles which just happened to be a book about seduction and rape. Tomorrow would see her revisit the first case she'd been a part of in Gotham. The rape and murder case had swiftly offered her a new take on her move to New York and she still hadn't been able to forget it. If her whole world hadn't been turned upside down by her parents then she understood that things would probably have been very different for her now, but there was nothing she could do to change it now. With that last thought resonating, she put down her book and turned out the light.

Alex hated rain. She was clumsy enough to make a fool of herself without any help; but add an umbrella to the mix and it was impossible for her not to cause havoc. She was always that person who struggled all the way to work with an umbrella that had a tendency to turn inside out every thirty seconds with the help of the wind. "Why me?!" she cried out loud to the rain as she dumped her broken and twisted umbrella in a trash can outside the courthouse. At least she'd made it to her destination without getting completely drenched. Pulling open the doors she launched herself into the lobby to find it deserted. She checked her watch. Court was almost in session. After asking a pretty blonde at the reception desk for the right courtroom she set off hastily towards the staircase, heels clicking loudly on the floor as she went. The doors to courtroom five stood ajar and the soft hum of whispering voices crept out through the gap. She slid through the doors just as a steward went to close them and quickly searched the rows for lieutenant Greeves. She took a few steps forward, looking for her grey haired superior and soon she found him, sitting towards the front. He had turned when he'd heard the sound of the doors closing. He waved to her as he turned to face the front again. Alex headed down the aisle, now all too aware of the loud clicking of her heels as they hit the tiled floor as she went. One thing Alex wasn't aware of was a pair of sharp blue eyes gazing intently at her from the back of the room. They followed her as she went to find her seat and they barely left her the whole time that court was in session.

In the hysteria and adulation that only a guilty verdict could create, the courtroom doors opened and Alex rushed to meet the staircase that would afford her some fresh air. It wouldn't last for long though. She knew she needed to be quick if she wanted to escape the barrage of reporters that would soon be stationed outside the doors when the news channels received the verdict. She rushed down two flights of stairs, stumbling quite a few times in her heels and she finally made it to the ground floor. Heading towards the doors she sighed. She was too late. Men and women with notepads and pens poised ready, voice recorders held aloft and even some television cameras had created a barrier that encompassed the entrance to the courthouse. There was nothing she could do but face it. She glanced behind her and found that no one had yet made it down the stairs. She would be the sole focus of their onslaught of questions. She readied herself to fight her way through the small crowd without saying anything that directly involved the case and marched to the door and pulled it open.

All at once she found microphones and recorders just millimetres from her face. She took a step forward and her heel slipped slightly. The ground was still wet from the rain earlier. That was all she needed. She'd be lucky if she managed to stay on her feet as she fought to reach the road. Sure enough, she hadn't gone another three steps before she slipped again and this time her balance was too unsteady to keep her on her feet, as she tried to recover someone slammed into the side of her as they rushed to get past her. Her knees buckled but before she could fall a hand took a firm grip of her elbow and held her upright. She looked down to her elbow and saw a strong lightly tanned hand and as her eyes glanced up past his wrist they met a very expensive suit. Suddenly curiosity was hindered when she realised that during her almost fall, her bag had slipped from her shoulder and was only held by the crook of her wrist. She pulled it back up onto her shoulder, realising that the hand in the expensive suit still held her elbow firmly. She'd been about to pull her elbow out of his grasp, but suddenly he growled "Watch where you're going!" at the person who had slammed into her, who she now realised must be holding a voice recorder or microphone to the man's mouth. All other sounds escaped her as she brought her eyes up, training over the Prada suit she gasped as she reached his face. He turned sharply at her intake of breath, his grip on her elbow growing tighter. She half expected him to look at her blankly without any form of recognition whatsoever, but as the reporter forced the voice recorder even closer he smiled in surprise.

"Alex?" he cried as he waved off the journalist.

"Um … Hi," she stammered as another journalist knocked into her in his rush to reach the doors of the courthouse. She fell into Bruce's chest as yet another journalist pushed their way past. She smiled an apology at him as she recovered her balance aided by his still firm grip on her arm.

"When did you come back to Gotham?" he asked as he gave a small tug on her elbow and she moved with him out of the direct path to the doors.

"A few months ago," she said, but before she could reply again they were interrupted.

"SPENCER!" Greeves had somehow emerged from the courthouse behind her and made his way past her to his car. "Spencer we need to go!" he yelled, pointing to his mobile phone that was held a few centimetres from his ear. She caught his eye and nodded and watched as he opened the car door and slid into the driver's seat.

"Duty calls, huh?" Bruce Said. "Here, take this." He finally let go of her elbow and pulled a business card out of his jacket pocket. "Call me when you get a minute. Think you can make it to the car without tripping up?" He smiled then, a warm smile that reminded her of the teenager that she had known. Suddenly he winked and squeezed her elbow; and then he was gone. She turned to look for his retreating back, sure that she'd notice a Prada suit in a crowd of journalists but he was nowhere to be seen. She turned again and realised that the journalists were now crowded around the doors and her path to the car was clear. She slowly turned and walked to the car in what felt like slow motion. Her elbow still smarted from when he'd squeezed it. As she closed the door behind her and Greeves pulled out into the road she realised that the last moment or so, for that was all that it had been; had seemed like an age. Where exactly had he come from? She hadn't seen him inside, but then she hadn't been looking for him. If she hadn't seen him in the newspapers she doubted that she'd have recognised him at all. Taller than her by at least a foot and with broad shoulders, he was built like a brick wall. She remembered a thin gangling teenager with a little too much hair but now the hair was expertly cut and swept back away from his face.

"You ready Spenser?" Greeves' voice permeated her thoughts. She looked down at her hands to find them turning Bruce's business card over and over. She quickly slipped it into the side pocket of her bag and nodded to her superior. As they both stepped out of the car Alex wondered if Greeves had seen the name on the business card. Had he seen her exchange with Bruce outside the courthouse? She sincerely hoped not. If word got out then she knew what people would think. Bruce Wayne was notorious for his womanising ways. They would all think she was just some girl he'd seen on the street and taken a liking to. She doubted anyone would conclude that perhaps they were old friends who had simply lost touch.

A new case would soon knock all thoughts of the business card in her bag completely out of her head. Alex loved the thrill that a new case brought. It was the aftermath that often left her feeling deflated. Sat in the deserted office typing up case notes was not how she had imagined spending her Friday night, but she had no choice. Her statement and case notes were needed so that the prosecution could begin building their case on Monday morning. She had felt guilty when she had called Jenny to cancel their weekly cocktail night, but it turned out she was busy too. A friend had fallen ill and she had stepped into their shoes and was helping with the production of a new chat show. She was glad she hadn't been the only one to cancel. She felt bad for constantly having to make excuses but Jenny often wanted to spend days together going on shopping trips or to spa hotels, but Alex simply couldn't take that much time off work. She looked at the clock; nearly eight o'clock. She sighed and put her head down on the desk. Her eyes were beginning to smart from all of the concentration. She looked through the file on her desk. She was almost finished. She walked the short distance to the vending machine in the corridor and came back with a bottle of water. She didn't return to her desk straight away. Instead she walked to the window as she unscrewed the bottle top. She looked out across the already dark city and wondered just how many people were alone in an office, looking up at the moon just like she was. The central business district of Gotham was just a stone's throw away and she felt sure that there were many others working late just like she was. Her eyes were drawn to the skyscrapers that assaulted the skyline. One of the largest was The Tobias Building. It was a recent addition to Gotham's infrastructure and the owner had dedicated the work that went on in the building to all sorts of different charities which rivalled even the work of The Wayne Foundation. Another building which caught her eye was Wayne Enterprises; an empire built by Bruce's father in the years before his death. Bruce! She turned and stared at her handbag that lay beneath her desk as she remembered the business card had sat undisturbed at the bottom of her bag for nearly three weeks. She covered her face with her hands as she grimaced. Then suddenly she wiped the look from her face. Had he really expected her to call? She hadn't given the card a second thought but now that second thought was convincing her that he hadn't really thought about her either. He'd probably just given her his number to be courteous. He knew as well as she did that they were no longer a part of each other's lives and that there was no reason why they should ever try to reignite that friendship. They now lived in two completely different worlds. What good could she possibly be as a friend to someone like Bruce Wayne? She had changed quite a lot since she'd left Gotham all those years ago, but in comparison to him she'd barely changed at all. He'd done a complete three-sixty. She walked back to her desk and rummaged in her bag until she found the business card. She turned it over in her hand a few times and then she suddenly dropped it into the waste paper basket. She threw her bag back onto the floor and carried on with her report.

She'd just finished and hit save when her phone started to ring. The opening chords of Snow Patrol's _'The planets bend between us'_ filled the dark office. She quickly re-saved her report just in case and hit the answer button. For a few seconds all that she could hear was loud music in the background, but it slowly began to fade and then she thought she heard a door close. Jenny's voice yelled a hello through the phone. "Still up for cocktails?" Alex sighed as she looked at her computer screen. She'd been planning to spend a bit more time reading over her report to make sure that it was perfect before heading home to bed. She hesitated. Suddenly she found herself closing her report and shutting down the computer.

"Sure," she said as she threw her coat on and lifted her bag. She felt bad for cancelling with Jenny, even though she'd been busy too. She hoped that her appearance tonight might make up for her lack of enthusiasm towards shopping trips and dinner dates with Jenny and her boyfriend.

"Great!" Jenny almost sang into the phone. "There are a few people from work here too. I hope you don't mind, but it'll be good for you to meet new people!"

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Alex heard herself say. She wasn't completely thrilled at having Jenny's TV workmates critic her choice of clothing or makeup or which area of Gotham she lived in, but she would only have to stay for an hour if there were other people there. She reached the lifts and the doors of one opened directly after she hit the call button.

"You'll love them I swear it! They're all so friendly and welcoming!" Alex rolled her eyes as Jenny praised her friends. She knew that "friendly" really meant nosey. She reached the ground floor as Jenny wittered on and reached the street, beginning to walk to the bar. "Besides, there's someone else here that you know who is just dying to see you!" Jenny simpered. What? She didn't know anyone in Gotham. Perhaps it was an old school friend who'd recognised Jenny in the bar. Or maybe Jenny's parents had paid an unexpected visit.

"Jen who is it? You're the only person I know in Gotham!" she cried into the phone as she tried to find a path through a gaggle of businesswomen oozing out of one of the restaurants lining the street, still in their pencil skirts and silk blouses, brief cases held over their heads as a shield from the rain. "Jen?" She'd ended the call. Still pushing past the business women, she pushed her phone into her coat pocket and locked down at her own attire, skinny jeans, converse and a pale blue cashmere jumper with a leather biker jacket to keep out the cold. She wasn't exactly presentable looking but she didn't mind so much tonight. These TV friends of Jenny's were all a little extravagant in the wardrobe department according to Jenny, so hopefully she'd blend into the background. For a few seconds, she worried that perhaps Jenny might be trying to set her up with one of her friends, but she mentally slapped herself. She was a grown woman. She'd simply show up and tell Jenny that there was no point trying to play cupid, as she was only staying for an hour. Besides, she sincerely doubted that any of Gotham's hotshot TV producers and directors would be interested in her. She sidled into the crowded bar and looked to where she would usually sit with Jenny but she wasn't there. She scanned the room and finally saw the heart shaped face standing at the bar arm in arm with her boyfriend. Grateful that she wouldn't have to greet her cousin in front of all her friends she headed towards her.

Jenny was excitable as ever, and Jasper, the boyfriend smiled apologetically at Alex as he ordered more drinks. "I was thinking," whispered Jenny, leaning in towards Alex, "Maybe I could hook you up with one of my friends huh?"

Alex simply shook her head at her cousin as she was handed a drink. She followed Jenny and Jasper away from the bar and to a group of tables that had been pushed together in the far corner. Most of Jenny's friends were standing around the tables talking with one another so Alex sat in one of the available seats. She looked around at the large group and was reassured by their attire. She looked completely invisible next to all of them. Jenny wore a very tight body con dress which had a very low neckline and displayed an expanse of lightly tanned skin. The other women scattered around the tables were dressed somewhat the same. They all had a slightly bohemian look about them, which she thought was strange for people who worked in television. The men were a different kettle of fish altogether. Some wore skinny jeans and biker jackets just like her, whilst others looked like they'd walked straight off the set of an eighty's film set. She stared around at the group that she had yet to be introduced to and felt decidedly ordinary next to them. She waited for Jenny to introduce her, but she was now turned away from her with her hand resting on Jasper's arm as _she_ whispered in his ear. She took in more about Jasper as he stood before her. She'd seen him before but only from behind the wheel of a car when he came to pick Jenny up on a Friday night.

The way he stood, leaning back a little as jenny leaned in and the way he wrapped an arm around her shoulder but the hand of that arm was splayed out a little, as if afraid to touch her were subconscious movements but Alex understood that this healthy and wholesome relationship as it was now would soon become tainted. Subconsciously Jasper had already had a revelation. Jenny wasn't right for him. They perhaps would have another few years of subliminal happiness before the cracks started to show.

Jasper was at the top of his game at the moment, and the future was beginning to look even brighter. He liked Jenny and he enjoyed spending time with her, but he had far better prospects. For a woman, there was limited time before you were relegated to the gallery and were soon forgotten about as young girls barely out of a school uniform took your place. For jasper, the world of television was a different place. He could only go up from here, provided that he chose the right projects to invest his time in. He'd been in talks with another television company about stepping in front of the camera and making his debut as a presenter of a new show, but he hadn't told Jenny yet. If the show received ample ratings there was a chance it could go national. That would mean leaving Gotham and Jenny behind. He couldn't afford to be tied down in a serious relationship if he had to make the move to New York. The opportunities he would come across in the big apple weren't for a middle aged man in a long term relationship. They were for a single bachelor who had nothing to lose. Jenny was a nice girl but her place was in the production office. She was a little too sharp to be put in front of a camera, a little too cold to really connect with people. This was a trait she shared with her cousin. The police officer irked him a little. Sometimes he felt that her gaze was too intent, almost like she could read his thoughts in his facial features. But then he supposed that she'd become that way because of her job. Didn't she spend all day trying to read people? It wasn't that he didn't like Alex, he just didn't trust her.

Alex felt for Jenny. She'd been a little foolish to get involved with someone who was essentially her boss. Men were safe in the television industry because there was always an audience for them. But for women the audience's attention was easily distracted. There was always scope for a new, younger, prettier model.

Suddenly Alex felt movement beside her and turned to find one of Jenny's friends sitting beside her. She was young, perhaps only nineteen or twenty with long waist length curly brown hair. Her dark skin's youthful glow was accentuated by the warm lighting in the bar.

"Cute, aren't they?" she said, nodding in the direction of Jenny and jasper.

"Yeah… I guess," sighed Alex.

"Not the romantic type then?" assumed the pretty teen. Why did everyone assume that? "I'm Haley by the way. Jenny didn't do a very good job of introducing you. You're her cousin, right?"

"Alex!" She raised her voice a little as the music volume suddenly increased and held out her hand to Haley who shook it lightly.

"So Jenny mentioned that you moved here from New York? Are you crazy?" she cried incredulously. "If I went to New York I'd never come back!"

"You say that now, but it might be a different story when you're in New York thinking about Gotham. I went to New York to get away from things. But they don't leave you, they stay. No matter how hard you try it just gets worse. I guess I came back to look it in the face. You can't run away, you have to tackle your problems headlong."

"Trust me," said Haley, "If I went to New York, my problems certainly wouldn't follow me."

"Well," supposed Alex, "Everyone is different I guess." She lifted her glass and drained the last dregs of her cocktail.

"Hey you want another?" Alex looked at the young girl who she'd instantly taken a liking to and nodded after a few seconds. She watched as Haley reached for her bag and headed to the now crowded bar. She marvelled at Haley. Those Almond shaped brown eyes still had so much hope for the future. She was either very wise or very foolish. She was now tottering back over to the table in her heels, bag tucked under her arm as she carried two drinks. She slipped back into her seat and Alex was about to continue the paused conversation when Jenny's shadow suddenly loomed over them. She looked up at her cousin and who she'd thought would be Jasper and gasped. Of course! Jenny had said there'd be someone here that she knew. Shock gave way to amusement as she watched Jenny simpering and batting her eyelashes at Bruce who was now making his way to the seat beside Alex.

"Bruce was a guest on the chat show tonight, and I just happened to mention your name to Jasper and it turns out he knew you!" All of this was said rather fast and Jenny was now leaning on the table, trying to catch her breath. "So, I invited him for drinks!"

She smiled bashfully at Bruce who simply grimaced and reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Here," he slid money along the table to Jenny's hand which was still splayed there as she recovered, "Why don't you get some more drinks?"

She nodded and scuttled off towards the bar and Alex burst out laughing as Bruce rolled his eyes at her.

"Does your cousin ever stop talking?" he said as he moved closer to Alex.

"Definitely not," Alex said. She was quiet for a few seconds before she realised that she was expected to carry out the introductions. "Bruce, this is Haley. Haley this is-"

"I know!" cried Haley from her left. She reached across and Bruce lightly shook her small hand. Alex gauged Bruce's reaction. Admittedly, Haley was too young for him, but Alex thought that she could understand the way a man's mind would work upon meeting Haley. She might not be wearing the most revealing clothing or look as glamorous as some of the other women in the bar but she was definitely the most beautiful. She was an enthral beauty; someone who was more than just a smear of red lipstick and a pair of Louboutins. Bruce's expression was unreadable. He smiled warmly as he conversed with Haley. It seemed that he liked her. Perhaps he appreciated that she was nothing like Jenny. In fact, Alex felt that some of what Haley said sounded awfully like her after one too many cocktails. Alex sunk into her leather jacket that she had neglected to remove, sure that she'd soon be forgotten by her two companions but Bruce noticed her movements.

He looked at the battered biker jacket and then he looked at Alex. He leaned across swiftly and whispered "Have you eaten?"

She shook her head as she glanced at Haley who had turned to share a joke with another of her friends across the table. She didn't really gain an understanding of what Bruce had said until he spoke again. "Let's go somewhere else then!" All at once he stood up from his chair and looked down at her. Alex stared back, startled. She glanced at Haley who had returned to the conversation and was smiling wickedly at her. She winked once, and then got up from her seat and moved towards Jenny and Jasper. "Remember," Alex called after her, "I owe you a drink!" Haley nodded and Alex turned back to Bruce; still sure that a shocked grimace painted her face.

"Relax," he said, smiling. "It's nothing like that. We're old friends Alex. I thought we could catch up! Besides, I thought you seemed a little uncomfortable here."

It was true that she hadn't felt entirely at home amongst Jenny's clique of TV people but Haley had somewhat subdued her uneasiness for a while. She had thought Haley would have been the one to become the subject of Bruce's attention, but perhaps he too had realised she was a little too young for him. But then she supposed it had never stopped him before.

"Just let me say goodbye to Jenny." She shuffled off into the crowd to find her wayward cousin. Jasper seemed to have disappeared too. She looked around a few times before she spotted Haley at the bar. After hurriedly telling her new friend to say goodbye to her cousin she found Bruce waiting by the door and they moved out onto the busy street. There were still a large number of businessmen and women swarming around the doors to restaurants and bars that lined the street. There were also late night shoppers trying to find a path through the socialisers to the subway station. She guessed she looked very ordinary amongst all those people. She turned her attention back to Bruce who was making his way towards parked silver Lamborghini a few yards away. Alex immediately looked down at her clothes. She was definitely not dressed for one of his fine restaurants.

"Bruce can't we just find somewhere here?" she cried as she ran to catch up with him. He turned and looked down at her, and for the first time she was reminded of just how much taller he was. She was only a little over five foot, but he had to be at least six. That was one thing she'd never really understood. She was usually attracted to men who weren't too much taller than she was but every guy who she'd been involved with had been too tall. She supposed that was because she hadn't really been attracted to any of them. She shook the thought from her mind as Bruce simply looked at her.

"I mean, there's got to be at least one place on this street that you own!" she cried as she looked around her. Bruce smiled wryly at her.

"There are four actually!" he whispered haughtily, the smile still in place. He pointed then to the sign of an Italian restaurant a little way up the street.

Ordering when you were with Bruce Wayne was certainly a task. The host simply stared unabashedly at Bruce for three minutes straight before she remembered that she had a job to do. The waitress was worse. Alex had to repeat herself three times before the waitress realised that she was even there and when she brought the drinks over she fixed her eyes on Bruce and tripped on a chair leg as another diner moved his chair back a little. The tray and the drinks would have made contact with the floor had Bruce not anticipated what would happen. He launched out of his seat and threw his hand under the tray.

The waitress was blushing profusely and patting Bruce's arm flirtatiously. "My hero!" she purred as she took the tray from him and scuttled away to the kitchen doors in a fit of embarrassed giggles.

"My hero," Alex wined sarcastically as Bruce grinned at her. When he looked at her like that, two rows of impeccable white teeth and a pair of sky blue eyes sparkling from the light of the candles around the room; Alex completely understood the waitress's reaction. She knew she'd have done the same. But one thing she hadn't worked out yet was whether or not he was the same person she'd thought that she loved. The way he walked and even talked now were all so alien to her that she began to think that the boy that she had once known was long gone.

He leaned over then and looked at her closely, all too aware of the fact that she was miles away.

"What are you thinking about?" he said.

Alex shrugged. "You've changed quite a lot."

"I know I have. But everyone knows everything about me. It's easy to notice. I reckon you've changed too. How was New York?"

"I love New York." She smiled as she recounted all of the things about the big apple that she loved so dearly. "I guess I just outstayed my welcome."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged as she recounted the real reason that she had left New York. "I guess work just got a little predictable. I loved my job there, but I guess I fancied something new."

"I thought you said you wanted to write though?" Alex's eyes were drawn to the bottle of wine Bruce was currently pouring into her glass. He left his glass empty and she was reminded solemnly that Bruce didn't drink at all.

"Bruce I was just a kid back then. I thought I'd scribble out some story and that it'd be published and I'd be a bestseller and that I'd be on chat shows and daytime television. I thought I'd be famous."

"Well, personally," He grinned now, a hidden thought clearly crossing his mind "I think it's good to be ambitious. To know what you want out of your life."

Alex already knew she didn't want to know what Bruce was secretly thinking. "Well, for most of us mere mortals there's this thing called reality. Perhaps that's something you've yet to come across." She mentally high-fived herself. She'd swiftly taken the conversation right back to him. She smiled, happy that she'd not have to explain much more about New York. "From what I've heard you pretty much live the life."

"I guess I do." Alex knew that Bruce understood her manipulation of the conversation and he seemed willing to oblige, but for how long? "I sleep through most meetings at work, all of the important ones anyway and then come five thirty, the world is my oyster!"

"Hey!" she wagged an accusatory finger at him. "I know for a fact that you've never set foot in your office a minute before mid-day. I read the papers!"

He laughed then. "So I like to burn the candle at both ends? I can certainly afford it!"

"I just-" She stopped mid-sentence, not sure what to say. "I don't know, like I said; you've changed!"

"Do you really think so?" Alex nodded. "Okay, try me!"

"What? With what? I swear you get more confusing by the minute." He smiled at her then and for a second she thought she might stop breathing altogether. "You're still a complete Jerk though. Maybe even more so now!"

"Okay I admit I might come across as a bit of a jerk now, but as a kid I was alright!"

"Bruce, no you weren't. The first day we met, you threw a basketball at my head in the school cafeteria!"

"Hey, at least I carried you to the nurse's office!"

"No you didn't you dragged me there!"

He snorted. "You were kind of out cold, so you wouldn't remember anyway." They both laughed as Alex conceded defeat and she took a large gulp of wine. They were silent for a few minutes and she thought perhaps he wouldn't mention difficult conversation topics, but the thought had only just crossed her mind when Bruce proved her wrong.

"What about your parents? How are they? Did they move back too?" As soon Bruce had mentioned her parents, he noticed a difference. Alex suddenly became enclosed, pulling her sleeves down over her wrists and she held her arms tight to her sides as if she was cold.

"I guess they were fine last time we spoke, about four years ago." She looked down at the table. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about with Bruce. She knew he had very strong views about family disagreements but he couldn't possibly understand her situation. He didn't know what it had been like.

"What?" he cried. "What happened?" His shock was evident. He hadn't known her parents at all but she was sure that he wouldn't understand her lack of communication with them no matter what they had done.

"You didn't see them in New York. When we moved I think they thought things would change. They thought that they'd be able to get things back on track. But they couldn't. Things just didn't work." Alex stopped. She'd never actually had this conversation before. Jenny had been told by her parents which had saved her the trouble of providing an explanation. Everyone else that she knew never asked about her parents. She wasn't sure that she understood how she felt about it all.

"Go on," he said quietly.

She looked at him, his warm smile telling her that he wasn't there to judge her, but she knew that he would. He'd give anything to have his parents back in his life. Hers were alive and well and she had simply given up on them.

"I… I guess … no one knows what it was like for me. Before things got really bad I really did think that they might be able to patch things up. But my dad wasn't coping very well with his new job. When he was a teenager he was really into drugs but he got out of all that. He had this one real bad day at work and he didn't come home that night. We were worried sick but I think my mum knew that he'd fallen off the wagon. He was back on drugs and he tore everything apart." Alex felt numb telling the story. The simple facts were easy to talk about, she could list them for hours but it was how everything made her feel that she couldn't find the strength to talk about. She understood that she might never really know how she felt about what had happened. "My mum couldn't cope with everything that was going on. Things escalated really quickly. She started hitting me. For years my mum had been my idol and suddenly she was completely insane. I couldn't bring myself to fight back in case I hurt her. I'd never have lived with myself."

"Why didn't your dad stop all of this? Why didn't you tell someone about all of this? Why didn't you leave?" Bruce said, breaking her train of thought. He was staring at her with wild eyes, his mouth hanging open.

"My dad and I were never really particularly close. He was always at work. He knew what was going on and he did nothing. He left my mum and she got worse. She became very religious. Don't get me wrong I've nothing against her religion. It gave her something to hope for. But suddenly I was like a prisoner in my own home. I wasn't allowed to see anyone or do anything. I had to fight with her for everything." She stopped again and took a deep breath. She wasn't going to let him see her cry. "She became a complete control freak. I didn't follow her religion and in her eyes that made me a bad person. I could just about cope with the physical side of things, I'd become immune to it. It was the things she'd say that would upset me. She completely wore me down. The fights got worse. I couldn't bring myself to defend myself for a long time. Eventually I realised I needed to leave before someone got badly hurt. There was this one day…" Yet again she stopped. She was trying so hard not to cry, to get the words out there that she'd spent the whole time staring at the table. She looked up at him and the sight almost broke her heart. He was watching her intently, his blue eyes overflowing with warmth. She'd expected judgement from him, but perhaps she'd been wrong. Maybe he wasn't as stupid as the tabloids made out. He reached across the table and took her hand and squeezed it. It wasn't a romantic gesture, but a comforting one and she was glad. The last thing she needed right now was someone's undivided attention, whether he was Bruce Wayne or not.

"There was this one day?" he countered.

"She went to hit me and I put my hands up in front of my face. She grabbed my wrists. I was standing against the metal frame of the bed and she pushed me, pushed me down over the metal frame. When she let go I ran. I left that day and I never went back. I moved in with my dad for a few months."

"You went to live with him after all of that? After he just left you?" he spluttered incredulously.

"I thought that maybe I could save them. I thought I could start with my dad. It didn't work. He didn't give a damn about me at all. I still can't believe he managed to stay married to my mum for so long and he brought me up, and when things got tough he just gave up completely. After a while he started seeing someone new and he kind of left me to my own devices. I guess I just wasn't in a very good place. He and my mum argued all the time and eventually he told me I needed to find my own place. He wanted his new girlfriend to move in with him and she came with three young kids. Basically there was no room at the inn for Alex. By that point I'd already joined the police. So I moved in with a friend from work and I tried to keep in contact with my dad. That didn't last long. He had this whole new life that I was not a part of and that was fine with him. I eventually realised that what had happened between my mum and I was partly his fault because he had done nothing to stop it. I wrote him a very angry letter and then all contact stopped all together.

"What about your mum?"

"I haven't seen or spoken to her since the day I left. She tried to contact me but I just couldn't face it. I'm really angry at myself now for not sticking up for myself. The job taught me a lot about what was wrong about my life and my mum was one of them. I should have defended myself and I should have spoken out. Id ruined my own life by not doing so, so I decided that I was going to make sure that other kids didn't go down the same road. Living in New York had its negatives. Everywhere I went I was terrified that I'd see them or that someone would find out what had happened. When I heard there was a job position available here, I Just knew that it felt right to come back.

Finally she thought that she'd given him enough. She looked up at his face and she knew he was in shock.

"Have you ever told anyone that before?" He asked as he placed his elbows on the table and looked straight into her eyes.

"Nope," Alex mumbled as she smiled weakly.

"I thought so. The way it all just came out, sounds like you need a bit of a release!"

"I don't really. Not anymore. I have my job, which I love. I've moved on now. I've come to terms with the fact that '_I am the only child of parents who weighed, measured, and priced everything; for whom what could not be weighed, measured, and priced, had no existence_.'"

"Ah, Little Dorrit," said Bruce.

"What? You've read a Charles Dickens book? You didn't study English if I remember correctly!" She was the one who was shocked now as she unabashedly stared at her friend who was supposed to be a brainless oaf.

"I didn't study English, but my room-mate did. I borrowed one of his books. By the way, I won't breathe a word of what you just told me to anyone. If you ever need to talk, you know where you can find me."

"Hmmm," she mused, "Maybe I was wrong Wayne. I don't think you've changed that much after all."


	3. A place that remains unchanged

Chapter three – A place that remains unchanged

_There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. _

Nelson Mandela (1918 - ), 'A Long Walk to Freedom'

The alleyway smelt strongly of the rotting meat and waste that overflowed from the bins that lined the wall. They belonged to the restaurants and bars on the main street that backed onto this secluded alleyway in the centre of town. In the darkness Alex could just make out the exit which lead to the main street a few metres away, aided by the light of one solitary street light. If she hadn't known that her colleagues were just around the corner she might not have been so comfortable. In fact, if they weren't around the corner she doubted very much whether she'd be here at all. She was desperate to charge someone related to this case just to get the press off their backs for a while but for weeks now there had been no leads whatsoever. They'd been trailing a known drug dealer, and everything had gone so well they had set up a sting to catch him. Right at the opportune moment though, they had lost him. She knew if they had been able to charge him and lock him away then things might not be so bad for a lot of people. He was notorious for picking on the vulnerable and needy. He offered them help and then he took all that they had as payment.

He had been off the radar for weeks now, but three days ago a young girl had contacted the police to confirm a sighting of him. She'd had dealings with him before, but she'd been wary to speak out. In the few weeks that he had been gone she'd been able to put things right and she was terrified of what might go wrong now that he was back, and the police were too.

That was why Alex stood waiting for him in the alleyway where he conducted most of his business. They'd chosen a Monday because there was a soup kitchen open across town on that same night and it would be quiet. The dealer wouldn't be expecting her. Alex checked her watch again. It was almost time. She pulled her coat closer around her and pulled her hair down to cover her face a little. She didn't know what to expect from the night ahead, but it certainly wasn't what was about to happen. The dealer came barrelling through the alleyway entrance and seemed not to notice her at first. He was running as if he were chased by the devil himself. He only became aware of Alex when she stepped away from the wall and moved to block his way. he skidded to a halt in front of her looking a little annoyed but not quite angry.

"How much?" He growled, his eyes darting about wildly. Alex didn't speak. She pulled a wad of money from an inside coat pocket and held it out to him. Swiftly the money was gone and replaced with a small package. He pushed Alex to the side and roughly dashed past her and carried on up the alleyway. Alex made a swift check of the package and then stuffed it in her pocket and tore off after the dealer. She had the evidence she needed now. She pulled her radio from her pocket and Alerted Greaves. She knew that in seconds the alleyway would be swarming with police officers and she would lose the dealer completely so she kept running, completely unaware of a black shadow following in her wake.

Running into an adjoining alleyway she realised that she must have lost him. He was nowhere to be seen. What was apparently a dead end in front of her should have prevented him from running any further and she sure as hell knew he hadn't run past her again. She turned then because she thought that she had seen something out of the corner of her eye. There was nothing there now but it had given her the idea she had needed. She used the badly constructed old wall as a ladder and bricks that jutted out here and there became footholds. She climbed to the top of the wall and expected there to be a drop on the other side but instead it was the roof of a building. Now Alex was unsure. She turned to glance behind her but there was no sign of Greaves or anyone else yet. They should have been here by now. She had two choices. The first was to wait for back-up, even though she'd lose her assailant but they'd now have grounds for arrest whenever they next caught sight of him. The second choice; to amble over the roof-tops which from where she was looked extremely dangerous. She didn't know where they led, or for how far they went on before she'd come to a drop. They looked secure enough to hold her weight but she couldn't be entirely sure. She might go crashing through a roof and fall to her death. There was a chance she wouldn't even catch the dealer she'd chased, and her colleagues wouldn't know where she'd gone. She rolled her eyes at her own determination as her feet hit the roof-top running and she sped off. She tried to radio through again, but this time she got no reply.

She didn't know how long she ran for, but she was beginning to lose hope. She hadn't caught another sight of the dealer and twice already she'd come across a jump she'd had to make between two roof-tops. She came to an abrupt halt at the end of a roof. Some of the tiles were loose and she slid towards the edge. She threw her arms out wide and managed to regain her balance. She jumped down from the wall to the pavement and found herself on another street lined with restaurants and bars, she hadn't travelled that far after all. She stood for a few minutes, letting her breath catch her up. She let herself be dazed by all of the bright lights and signs from the businesses opposite before she pulled out her radio to try and make contact again. There was still nothing. Her brow creased as she stared down at the contraption in her hands wondering why it had failed her in her hour of need. If she'd been able to call in back up, they might have caught the dealer, or at the very least they'd have known which direction he'd gone in. Suddenly her thoughts jarred as the light around her darkened slightly, just for a second. Thinking the lights must be flickering she looked up. Above her she could just make out a black mass against the inky indigo night sky.

She didn't have time to ponder what the shape had been because a group of young people passed behehind her at that moment, a young girl shouting at her mobile phone in her hand which appeared to have died. That was it! The battery had died! Alex almost threw the radio to the ground and stamped on it, but she knew she'd lose the moral high ground. Someone hadn't replaced the battery in her radio. That someone was probably Detective Sharp. He was always forgetting to change batteries and to make important statements. They were little things, but regardless of that Alex had grown tired of the never ending list. She knew that there was something not quite right about the man. Greaves had warned her to be wary of him when she'd first started but she hadn't thought that she would need to be until now. If he'd replaced the batteries of the other radios then why did he not do the same with hers? It suddenly seemed to Alex, that someone was trying to sabotage her best efforts to clean up this city.

She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself and work out where she was. She slipped her radio back into her pocket and resolved to ensure that Detective Sharp got a severe telling off for his negligence. She gazed up and down the street looking for something that she might recognise. The street was vaguely familiar, but she still hadn't got to grips with Gotham yet. She didn't have a clue where she was. She'd just call into one of the bars and ask for directions. She crossed the street and noticed that the group of young people who had walked by earlier were now walking back towards her. She took a closer look at the girl with the phone and stopped still in the middle of the street. That was the girl who'd come to the police about the dealer. She walked by Alex with her group of friends and Alex held out her hand to grab the girl's wrist when she saw it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a wad of money tightly encased in a grubby hand. She hadn't seen his face but she knew it was him. He was trying to sell, here on an open street. The girl approached him and her friends walked on by, leaving her to the dealer's mercy. They argued and the girl tugged on the wad of money in his hand as he backed away. Alex's vision was abruptly disrupted as she was jostled by another group of teenagers walking towards her. When she recovered she found that both the dealer and the girl were gone. She scanned the street; her heart beat picking up a pace as worry for the girl set in. She found them slipping down a side street which she thought would lead them towards the business district.

Alex hadn't scaled those roof-tops for nothing. She was determined that the dealer would look upon her from behind a set of iron bars before the night was out. She followed them, keeping a little distance so that she could judge the situation. The side street was badly lit, so Alex had to squint into the darkness but no sooner had she taken a step in, than the girl had come flying back out. She grabbed Alex's wrists tightly as her breathlessness became muffled sobs.

"What is it?" cried Alex, shaking her arms a little to release them a from the crushing sensation the girl's hand's created.

"He's … gun…he's got a gun!" she cried. She let go of Alex's wrists and turned to run back onto the main street but it was Alex's turn to make a grab. She pulled the girl back and held her tightly.

"Which way did he go?"

The girl looked at her blankly, tears streaming down her face unashamedly. "Up…" was all that she said before she shook out of Alex's grip and was gone into the waiting arms of her group of friends.

Without the aid of light Alex had to feel her way down the side street, which she was sure would lead her out towards the business district. She was trying to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she was going the wrong way when she stumbled across a ladder jutting out of the wall.

"Up. Of course!" Alex mumbled sarcastically to herself. "What is it with this guy and roof-tops?"

Alex counted at least eight floors of the apartment block that she was currently scaling the side of, before she deliberately stopped counting for the sake of her sanity. When she eventually reached the top she had the dealer in sight. He was standing at the edge of the other side of the building. As Alex made her way towards him she guessed he that he must be judging the gap between their building and the next. The next apartment block was taller by one floor, which would make the jump all that more harder. He appeared not to know she was there, and for a second she contemplated trying to pull him away from the edge but he was just too close. There was every chance he could throw her over the side.

For the second time that night Alex looked above her as there was a sudden change in the light above her head, but as soon as it was there, it was gone again. Just a shadow perhaps? It couldn't be. There was no reasonable explanation why the lighting should change so suddenly up here away from the city. Alex refocused her attention on the dealer, who by now was safely standing on the next roof-top. He knew she was there now. He was staring at her, a vacant expression adorning his face. From a pocket he pulled the gun out and pointed it straight at her. She knew by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to shoot, yet. This was just a warning. It was certainly a warning she could heed. She could hear sirens in the distance and was aware that the team would be hunting for her along these side streets and alleyways and all she had to do was retrace her steps back across the roof and climb back down the ladder. But if she followed her dealer, it looked like she was going to end the night with a bullet embedded in her skull. That was of course if she even managed to make that jump.

The sound of the sirens was growing ever closer, and all that she could hear as she walked the short distance to the edge was the pounding of her heart. The dealer was tall enough to make it, but would she? The pounding of her heart grew fiercer as she backed away a few yards and prepared to take the jump at a run. As her feet began to move the strangest thing happened. She almost thought she heard someone growl "No!" from behind her. Not daring herself to think she jumped. Catching hold of the edge of the ledge she could do nothing but hang there in mid-air as she tried to take in what she had just done. Breathing heavily, she forced her arms to pull her weight up and over the ledge. She rolled onto her back on top of the roof-top and lay there for what felt like hours. She tried to steady her breathing as she felt an anxiety attack creeping into her mind. Pushing herself up from the ground she caught sight of the dealer at the edge on the other side again. She could see that he looked worried even from behind. The gap on the other side was obviously too large. Watching him closely, she judged that he wasn't too close to the edge and so she marched right up to him and made a wild guess as to which pocket she should plunge her hand into. She was right. Before he'd had time to react she'd pulled the gun away and held it tightly in her grip.

The shadow had been following the dealer from uptown Gotham, and from nowhere he'd been confronted with someone who had done a far better job of tailing the dealer than he had himself. There didn't seem to be an ounce of sub-conscience that told her to stop when she was in danger. He couldn't fathom how she had managed to scale those roof-tops more efficiently than him and now she had all but got him in hand-cuffs and he hadn't lifted a finger. Part of him was disheartened that weeks of work had gone to waste; weeks of tailing a man and watching his every move after dark only to be thwarted by a woman. But somehow he felt an overwhelming feeling of gladness seeping into his soul. No other police officer would have risked their life like he had just witnessed her doing. He thought that perhaps even Commissioner Gordon himself would have admitted defeat when faced with the jump that she had nearly not accomplished. He had thought that he would have to help her and had rushed to her aid, only to find her hauling herself over the ledge. Perhaps Gotham Police Department wasn't as corrupt as the rumours said.

Losing all pretence, the dealer pounced on Alex. He wrapped his hands tightly around her throat, forgetting that she held the gun in her hand. For a few seconds she struggled with him, trying to put off the inevitable, but he was too large for her to fight back and win. There was that shadow again. It was rapidly growing in size behind the dealer, as if it were running towards them. Despite her suspicions, Alex didn't have the time to wait around so she lifted her arm as high as she could and struck him in the side of the head with the gun. By the time Alex had recovered the shape had disappeared completely. The blow hadn't even been enough to knock the dealer out, but he lay, looking up at the night sky disorientated as Alex crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, waiting for back up to arrive.

"Spenser!"

"Oh what now?" cried Alex. It was all she had heard all morning. Everyone had been clamouring for information about what had happened the night before, but she'd had the sense only to tell Greaves about the shape she had seen. She ignored the voice calling her across the office and continued with her work, despite the added distraction of the day's copy of The Gotham Daily Express which currently lay face down on her desk. The first thing she had done that morning when she had reached her desk was to turn the newspaper over and search the room to see if she could tell who had put it there. She realised quickly that it had probably been Detective Sharp. She could imagine him as the kind of man who liked to make other people feel uncomfortable. Now, she gave in to temptation and turned the newspaper back over. Emblazoned across the front page was the headline _'A GIANT LEAP FOR COP-KIND'_ and underneath there was a very unclear picture of her in mid-jump between the roofs of two buildings. She supposed it wasn't as bad as she had thought. She could tell it was her in the picture but she doubted whether anyone else could. It was too far away to give away any defining features of her face. Her heart sank again as she began to read the article which was continued on page five.

_Last night Sargent Alex Spenser of the Gotham Police Department took the term 'risk your life for your job' seriously, watched by many Gotham citizens as she took part in a drug sting that appeared to be going well, but had in fact gone very wrong. Despite this officer's sheer luck in managing to track down an armed man and arrest and detain him, questions have this morning been asked of police chiefs and commissioners as to their recent lack of methodical crime prevention. Sargent Spenser chased a known dealer through the streets of Downtown Gotham last night alone as the rest of her team waited for radio confirmation of the dealer's whereabouts in squad cars which were later reported to be five miles from the eventual scene of arrest. Although the officer in question has yet to make a statement regarding the arrest, the people of Gotham are already experiencing a feeling of assurance today. This officer who it is rumoured recently transferred from New York and is only twenty three years of age seems to have taken the bull by the horns when it comes to the notorious crime wave in our city. Although her actions must be applauded there has been some criticism from the Mayor who is reported to be angered by the apparent lack of awareness of public and personal safety shown by the new Sargent. It is also alleged that Sargent Spenser was forced to subdue the assailant after he attacked her. The Gotham Daily Express contacted James Gordon, police commissioner who declined to comment on last night's events or on the nature of Sargent Spencer's actions._

Alex couldn't bear to read any more. She closed the newspaper, rolled it up and threw it into the bin. She looked up again as someone bellowed her name across the office. Scanning the room she found Greaves motioning to her from the doorway. She got up and left her desk behind and followed him out into the corridor.

"Finished your statement yet?" he queried as he leaned casually against the wall.

"Haven't even started yet," Alex lied.

"Good." Greaves turned to look at her then. It was a stern searching look, as if he almost knew that she was lying. "Because the commissioner wants to see you in his office."

Alex stared at him open mouthed. "Gordon wants to see me? About what?"

"I'd guess it would be about last night." Alex placed a worried hand over her mouth as she recalled the newspaper report. Had she managed to get herself into trouble already? "You'd better go now 'cause he doesn't like being kept waiting Alex!"

Greaves left her in the corridor, hand still over her mouth. She needed a moment to take in what might be about to happen, a moment she didn't have. She took what felt like an eternity to climb the flight of stairs that took her to the fifth floor. Outside the commissioner's office she took a deep breath, not sure she wanted to know what waited for her on the other side of the door, but she didn't give herself enough time to ponder. She knocked curtly and entered.

The first thing Alex noticed about the office was the amount of paperwork it contained. There was pile upon pile of files and folders across the floor, and the walls were lined with filing cabinets that Alex knew were full to the brim of even more paperwork. Then she turned her attention to the office's only occupant. James Gordon was sat behind a desk piled high with paperwork. He looked somewhat older than his forty years, with dark circles under his eyes and tired wrinkled skin that she knew was due to the thirty-something years he had spent as an employee of Gotham Police Department. It was the warm blue eyes behind black square glasses and the still flame red hair although flecked with a little grey that held the true age of the police commissioner. In the middle of his desk was a large picture frame containing a photo of Gordon and his family. Alex was swiftly reminded of a photo much like the one in front of her that was of her own family. Gordon was stood much like her father had been, in the middle with his arms around his two children on one side and his wife on the other. The whole family looked happy. She guessed the photo had been taken a few years ago judging by how much Gordon had aged. Alex knew things might not now be how they looked in the photo. Where they still as happy as they seemed? She knew from her own personal experience that the happiness captured so readily in such a photo might begin to dwindle from the very next day.

Gordon motioned for her to take the vacant seat opposite his desk and she did, suddenly reassured by the warm smile that greeted her. As she sat she watched as Gordon pushed his chair away from his desk slightly and leaned back. He pushed the paperwork he had been working to the side and put down his pen.

"Sargent I'd like to know if you've finished your statement concerning last night yet." Alex raised her eyebrows at his abrupt statement. This wasn't the start to the conversation that she had expected.

"I haven't even started." Yet again she was lying, but unlike Greaves, Gordon didn't seem to care whether she was lying or not. He leaned forward then, rested his elbows on his desk and crossed his arms.

"Lieutenant Greaves told me that you saw the bat last night." It wasn't a question, but another statement.

Alex thought carefully before she answered. She thought she could see the direction that this conversation was going in now. "Well I didn't say that I saw him exactly, I said I saw a black shape; a shadow."

"Well," Gordon rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Whatever it was that you say you saw, I'm going to need you to keep it out of your statement. I trust you saw the newspaper I left on your desk this morning. I think you're going to be receiving enough press attention without adding the bat into the mixture."

So it hadn't been detective Sharp trying to make her feel uncomfortable with the newspaper, but Alex still felt that she didn't quite get why Gordon had left the newspaper for her. "I still don't under-"

"Spenser this city is dangerous at the best of times." He interrupted her with a stern voice, one that she had not been expecting. He stared at her for a few seconds before he continued. "You're good at your job, very good in fact. But with all that there comes risk. The newspaper got it right. What you perceive to be the right thing to do may be so at the time, but the aftermath is where we're going to come across problems. There are stories written every week about rumours of corruption within this department so it does lighten the load for us all when a story like this surfaces but it's going to cause problems for you eventually. You see, there are a lot of people within this city who don't want people like you and me in any sort of position where we can make change because we are prepared to take risks to get results. You've served in the most crime infested city for most of your time on the job, and you've been trained well. I know that you had the best education concerning law enforcement in New York, but all of that will amount to nothing if you aren't careful. You've undergone a lot of change during your time working for the police but this city remains the same as it always has done. If we are to bring about change we need to create a solid, reliable, dependable and unwavering force to be reckoned with. We need to re-affirm the public's belief in our ability to protect them. That is not going to happen if you get yourself killed."

Alex didn't quite know what to say. She didn't really think that she had changed that much, but perhaps from the eyes of an outsider; she had. She knew that Gordon was right about change, but she hadn't realised before just how detrimental she would be in the grand scheme of things. Wasn't doing her job right and taking the risks to get results what would eventually bring about change? "I'm not sure I see your point sir. I know how important change is for this city, and I understand that it isn't going to happen overnight but I'm trying my best to do what's right. Isn't that enough?"

Gordon sighed. He looked confused, constrained even. "Alex you're just a kid. I have a daughter myself. She's a few years younger than you, mind; but I wouldn't let her police these streets for all the money in the world. I understand that this job is something that you need. You're here for the right reasons. You aren't willing to keep your head down and lie to yourself by pretending that the problem will go away if it is simply ignored. What I said might have sounded a little tactless but what I am trying to say is that you cannot possibly think that the change that this city so desperately needs is worth dying for. You are worth so much more when you are living and breathing. I want you to seriously consider what good can really come from you ending up on a mortuary slab. What change can you bring about from there. That picture in the paper this morning; that was reckless. I don't know what your mind-set is or what in God's name drove you to make that jump but you need to channel it, use it to better this city, not scare yourself witless by jumping between the roof-tops of sky scrapers; or even worse, to kill yourself. When I saw that photo I knew it wouldn't be some drug dealer or murder or nut job that finally gets you. You are your own worst enemy." Alex was stunned. She told herself she didn't understand, but she really did. Gordon believed in the cause but didn't think there was any foundation in sacrifices for the greater good. He turned then to his clock and smiled. "Ah, lunchtime; any plans Sargent?"

"I'm meeting a friend." Alex smiled back at him as she realised that James Gordon's children were very lucky to have a father like him. She'd have given anything for her own father to have shown a fraction of the enthusiasm that Gordon had shown in the last ten minutes. Her father was unaccustomed to making change. He waited until he had no choice but to follow it, but Alex intended to be the one that brought that change about.

"Off you go then." When Alex reached the door and her hand was on the door handle he spoke again. "Remember Alex, the bat stays out of the statement."

"…And did you know that your picture was on the news channel this morning?"

"Yes Haley I did." Alex covered her eyes with her hand and tilted her head back; letting the last few rays of the midday sun wash over her. She was sincerely starting to regret agreeing to have lunch with Haley. "Has Jenny called you?" she asked her pretty friend as her phone beeped to notify her that she had a new voicemail message to add to the seventeen missed calls.

"Yes. Why won't you just talk to her? She's going out of her mind with worry you know. She just wants to know that you're okay." Haley was pushing the last few crumbs of a Caesar Salad around her plate with a melancholy look gracing her face. "I think that she's worried about how you are up there too," Haley whispered dramatically as she pointed with one finger to her temple.

"For God's sake!" several of the other dinners turned to stare as Alex smacked her hand on the table. "I'm not bipolar, depressed, anxious, insane or schizophrenic. I was doing my job."

"I know. I know your fine but you haven't spoken to her in a while. She thinks your cutting yourself off from everyone." Haley looked like she was unsure of what to say or do next, but her attention quickly turned to Alex's phone which began to ring.

"I'm not cutting myself off either. I've just been spending all of my time with you!" Alex lifted her phone and was ready to cut the call when the caller ID surprised her. "What does he want?"

Alex considered cutting the call again but Haley wined "Answer it!"

"HAVE YOU GOT SOME SORT OF DEATH WISH?" Alex held the phone away from her ear and sighed. She'd had so many people lecture her already that she felt like a college student.

"Well hello Alex how's your day going? Oh it's going great, thanks for asking. How's your day going Bruce?" Alex almost chuckled as she thought of her sarcasm hitting him right in his dead pan face.

"Don't patronise me! What are you playing at; jumping between buildings and chasing armed men across roof-tops?" Alex's smile dropped. She thought her sarcasm might have lightened his mood but it had only worsened it.

Alex grimaced and wined "Jeez what are you, my mother? And by the way, you're the one that's patronising me!"

"Alex I'm not your mother and that's precisely why I called. I have ten of the city newspapers on my desk in front of me right now and you're on the front page of nine of them!"

"Only the nine?" Alex had thought he'd have given up by now. They were only friends, acquaintances really and he thought he had the right to speak to her as if she was a child.

"Alex, listen-"

"No you listen. All I did last night was do my job. You have no right whatsoever to dictate to me about anything. I mean what have you done since you got into work today? Scanned ten newspapers and then called me and it's only, what; after lunch! Then when this conversation is over you'll have a nice nap until five thirty and then you'll be ready to party again play boy so don't you dare have a go at me!" Alex lifted the piece of paper Haley was currently writing on and crumpled it in her hand to make a crackling noise.

"Alex-"

"Sorry Bruce I can't hear you! You're breaking up! Tell you what, I'll call you later!" she ended the call and turned to face Haley again who was howling with laughter. "So where were we?"


End file.
